Before I started this journey I had horrible anxiety about going to the gym. I had a fear that people would stare and be like what is she doing here? She doesn’t know what she is doing. I am plus size so it made me doubly anxious  about people watching my every move while I work out. I know deep down nobody really cares what I am doing all they care about is what they are doing and their workouts. I took a tour of my local gym to get a feel for the equipment  and environment. I also did lots of research online on how to use the equipment and different kinds of exercises I could do at the gym so I would kind of know what I was doing when I would go to the gym. I also had to realize that everyone starts somewhere. They might be years into their journey. Don’t allow others appearances make you feel bad. Instead try to feel inspired. I also wear headphones and turn on my favorite music to help me to focus on myself and what I am doing. I use therm so I can zone out and not worry what is going on around me. I bring noise canceling headphones, my phone and my google playlist. I am able to focus on what I am doing and drown out everything and everyone else.I also bought fitness gear that I would be comfortable in. I also try to wear workout clothes I will feel comfortable and confident in. I also try to go to the gym at off peak times, it can sometimes be intimidating to work out in large groups of people. I would choose off peak times because it helps to ease my gym anxiety because there are a smaller amount of people working out at off peak times. Most gyms will be full in the early evening hours and relatively empty in the early mornings or early afternoons. It can vary from gym to gym so I advise you ask the staff at your gym to see when their off peak times are. By scheduling your workouts at off peak times you won’t have to fight for machines. You’ll be able to workout at your own pace and focus only on your own workouts. You’ll feel more comfortable when there are fewer people to interact with and fewer eyes on you. Don’t compare yourself to others. When you are at the gym try to focus on yourself and your own workout. Don’t let your eyes wanders, stay in your own lane and focus on yourself. Pull all your energy into your sets and reps. Wear a hat , by wearing a hat it can really help you to feel safe and hidden under the bill of the cap. Study your routine before you go to the gym. Having a plan before you go will not only make you feel more confident but also get you better results in the long run. Keep going and be consistent. The most effective tip for getting over your gym anxiety is to just keep going and be consistent. The more you go , the more comfortable you will be at the gym. It might even start feeling like a second home. Master your mindset and you’ll master your body. You have to master your mindset and live with confidence in order to truly unleash your full power and reach your full potential. You have to master your mindset in order to truly master your body. Train your mindset as often as you train your body. Have a growth mindset, believe that you can grow through dedication and hard work. Learn as much as  you can about health, fitness and bodybuilding. Remove toxic people who have a negative effect on your mindset, block them out and block all your negative thoughts. Believe in yourself, train hard and stay dedicated and you’ll master your body and achieve your goals. Just give yourself a pep talk and push out all the negative thoughts. You are bad ass you got this now go out and get your butt into the gym and work hard to achieve your goals.

Retro Rebel Girl

I have a therapist , her name is music. Music sets your  soul on fire. Good music calms my soul, it takes me to another place away from my problems. When you’re happy you enjoy the music, when you’re sad you understand the lyrics. Music is life, that’s why our hearts have beats. Music is what feelings sound like. With the right music you either forget everything or you remember everything. Music is my escape from all the bullshit in life. Dear music thanks for always clearing my head, healing my heart and lifting my spirits.  Sometimes music is the only thing that takes your mind off everything else. Just turn up the volume close your eyes and let the music take over your soul. Some days I need the music and some days I need the lyrics. Music begins where the possibilities of language end. I have three moods when it comes to music. 1. Skip every song on my playlist 2. Let the music play without interruption and 3. Play the same song on repeat for days. I get into the gym put my headphones on and hit play on my playlist and I turn up the music and turn down the drama. A good playlist can really get you motivated and help you to lose track of time so before you know it that hour or two that you were working out just flys by.

Here’s a link to my current gym playlist if your interested in seeing what I listen to when I workout.

https://play.google.com/music/playlist/AMaBXyn2GBT86bxNpAlI0J3J4msCfJOlY99QIj7bHxkoOokUzkTfM37vMXEXt9Si4PvU_RT6ssjnmr7aA8JhL1l6LmyxrnTySw%3D%3D

Music does a lot, it can make time pass faster, your workouts much stronger and make you feel less pain. Go out and make a bad ass motivational music playlist and put your headphones on world off and murder the hell out of your workout.

Retro Rebel Girl

 

MOTIVATION! How do you define motivation??? I looked up the definition of motivation and it says its the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. Also the general desire or willingness of someone to do something. Motivation is one key part on your fitness journey. How do I stay motivated? I take it one day at a time, I surround myself with positivity. I make smart goals,reward myself, believe in myself and acknowledge my positive attributes. I recognize my progress, visualize accomplishing my goals, I am kind to myself and I don’t compare myself to others. When I lose focus I try to remember why I started this fitness journey in the first place. I envision my end goal, I give myself credit when I do something I never done before. I reward myself when I am able to step outside my comfort zone. I take it one day at a time, greatness takes time. I surround myself with positivity and remove all negative distractions. I acknowledge my progress because slow progress is better than no progress. Don’t compare yourself to others it’s only you Vs. you. I know I will struggle, I will fall down. But I will always rise back up and i’ll be stronger than before. I realize that failure is part of the journey. Everyone even the most successful ones struggle from time to time. But the successful ones also know that failing is part of the journey and keep going.

They rise back up and know that the experience of failure makes them stronger than before. If I fail or struggle I do not give up. I know that pushing myself through the hard times will only make me stronger and better. I do not fear failure! Believe in yourself, focus on how you feel, don’t listen to the scale listen to your body and love yourself. Do it because you love your body not hate it. You can’t cheat the grind its knows how much you have invested. It win’t give you what you haven’t worked for it. When you are having a hard time and don’t want to workout try telling yourself positive things and try to kill the negative. Tell yourself any workout is better than no workout at all. It comes down to one simple thing how bad do you want it? Progress is also motivation you might not be where you want to be, but you’re not where you used to be. Remind yourself that your life won’t change in one day. Be patient it takes 21 days to make a habit stay positive. Work for it you have to work hard for your goals and dreams, there’s no other way to crush your goals. Go out there and find what motivates you, work hard to become the bad ass you want to be. I know I am going to work hard for it, try to stay positive and motivated.

Retro Rebel Girl

 

What am I doing to help me lose weight to become a healthier bad-ass me? First off lots, lots and lots of water. Stay hydrated that is key. I use a 40 oz ThermoFlask. Then to help me keep track of my calories and exercises I am using an app on my phone called my fitness pal. It is sort of a one stop shop to help you track everything and if you are counting calories it helps you to see exactly what you hitting and breaks down all your macros. I love this app, I also have a Samsung gear fit2 pro watch that tracks my steps and takes my heat rate. I also have two different type of earbuds I have the new galaxy buds in white and the jaybird x3 in an army green color and my phone is a Samsung galaxy s10+. I also use the planet fitness app because that is where I have a gym membership at and it helps me to all track exercises I do and I also use the Samsung note app to jot down what I did and how many reps and sets I do. All this helps me to keep track of what I do so I can switch it up and not have my workouts be stale and repetitive. I feel like my life has gotten out of control as of late and its off the rails and is a crazy train headed for a head on collision into another crazy train. It’s about time I get it together and get back in control before a bigger disaster happens I can’t come back from. I need to start eating healthier and making better choices in what I put in my Body. My body is my temple, I will keep my temple clean. Your body is the only home you have to live, nurture it, honor it,love it and respect it.

I am not going to follow a diet per-say because I tend to fail at those miserably.I am sort of going to do a keto thing and cut out tons of carbs, sugars, junk food, sodas, bread, tortillas, etc. I need to be mindful of what I eat and make healthier choices. I have been researching keto recipes on pinterest and found some I think I could love and handle making. I will be sharing those with you and what I think of them and how easy it is to make them, etc once I go go grocery shopping lol. I also bought a keto cookbook at costco so I have lots of new things to try. My first goal on this adventure is to eat healthier and try out some keto. My second goal is to get back to the gym. I need to start moving and get some exercise. When I was going to the gym I felt like I had more energy and I felt better about myself after I worked out. I was getting in my me time/ self care time and taking care of my mind, body and soul. Then a lot of things happened in my life and it was a snowball effect, I wasn’t stronger than my strongest excuse but this time I am going to throw all those damn excuses out the window and motivate my self to get to the gym so I can become the bad ass I want and know I can be. My goal is to try to get to the gym at least 2-3 times a week to get in some exercise to help me become a healthier, active bad ass me.

Also on this adventure I want to make more time for myself, I have been neglecting me and not giving myself the much needed me time my mind, body, and soul have been craving. I’ve let myself fall apart and put off doing self-care for myself. The goal is to try to take at least an hour or two out of my day for me /self care time. I will take that time to do things to take care of my self, like manicures, pedicures sort of spa time  to take care of my mind, body and soul. I also need to start taking daily vitamins so I can be  healthier and get some more nutrients I am missing into my body. I want to try and lose at least 100 pounds, but whatever happens being healthier is the most important to me. Health isn’t about the weight you lose, but the life you gain. I’m not dieting I’m changing my lifestyle. I’m never going to let a stumble in the road be the end of my journey. Failure is only temporary. Giving up makes it permanent. It’s okay if I fall down and lose my spark.I’ll just make sure when I get back up , I’ll rise as the whole damn fire. If I fall, I rise back up. If I fail I try again.If I fall I rise. I rise back up every single time and I will fall, we all do. And If I fail I’ll try again and again and again. Until i get it right, because there’s no other way! I’m going to stay strong and keep moving forward! I’m going to kill my excuses, face my fears and stop doubting myself. I can do this health journey and come out on top. Excuses, fears and doubts the three biggest barriers to becoming better. Excuses, we all make them,it’s so easy to make them. But every single excuse takes you one step back in your journey towards becoming a better you. Once you realize that and start killing every single one of y our excuses, you’ll be making progress a lot faster. Think DO instead of DON”T and accept no excuses! Fears, there are so many and they are all different person to person. But whatever your fears are, face them head on and make sure your fears are not holding you back. Stop doubting yourself, BELIEVE and push forward! Even if it’s the smallest steps forward, move forward. Today, tomorrow and every single day after that. No more excuses, fears and doubts. I CAN DO THIS!! No more “I Can’t” I can and I will. It is time to erase any trace of ” I Can’t” in my mind! I can lose weight. I can get in shape. I can make those gains. I can become stronger! I can come back after a setback. I can improve in anyway I want. I can do anything I want and I will!

I just need to believe in myself and make it happen!I just need to turn down the voice of fear and go beast mode. It’s tough to truly push yourself to the limit to become the best that I can be. It takes a lot of time and energy. Result’s won’t happen over night and they won’t come easy. Most of us need to sacrifice some aspects of our lives in order to truly be able to push ourselves to the limit. When I hear that inner voice telling me that I can’t do it, or that I’ve reached my limit, or that voice telling me ” it’s to hard”. I need to turn it down, way down and ignore it completely. i need to turn it down and believe in myself 100% and do the one thing that will take me forward go beast mode. Regardless of where I am in my journey, I wish myself the best and I know I can get the results I want. I just need to be fearless! No one is perfect, be proud of who you you are and be proud of your body. Celebrate your scars and flaws. Just remember no one is truly perfect. Your scars and flaws are part of what makes you..you. Be proud of them and celebrate them! Focus on being a good person, be proud of yourself and your body, all while you’re working hard to become a better you. How someone physically looks is not a measure of how “good” they are in any way. A lot of the “fittest” ones I know are also the ones who feel the most inferior themselves. They battle their own demons just like anyone else. So don’t compare yourself to anyone. Do’t feel bad about yourself and your flaws, celebrate them. Put your heart, mind and soul into every single workout that’s how you truly grow. Real growth, that kind of growth you can truly measure. The kind that will take you forward. The kind that will make a difference. That kind of growth only comes when you put your heart, mind and soul into every single workout. Every single one of them.

That’s the single thing that separates those who achieve success from those who don’t Those that are extraordinary and those that create real growth are those that go all in. In every single workout, every single set and every single rep. Train harder! Let go of all the thoughts that don’t make you strong. It’s a slow process, but quitting won’t speed it up. Excuses build zero muscles. On good days workout, on bad days workout harder. A bad day can be made better by going to the gym. This year is all about beast mode for me, nothing less than beast mode this year. I’m fired up and it’s time to get busy! I am going to work hard on this fitness adventure hope you can find some inspiration and motivation to do the same for yourself. Its all about progress, you might not be where you want to be, but you’re not where you used to be. You got this.

Retro Rebel Girl

There are so many ways to practice self-care depending on what type your body is craving, whether it is mind, body or soul. Self-care allows you to replenish your mind, body and sou when you need it most. It also allows us to live a better everyday life. We all need to make time to care for ourselves. Whether you make it a daily habit or a weekly one. Being able to do little things for ourselves is going to improve everything from our social interactions to our productivity. Self care refers to the act of doing any type of good to or for yourself. It’s showing yourself the same kindness that you would to others.Also being able to recognize when those personal acts of kindness are needed. It can be implemented in a number of ways. The benefits of self care increases productivity, improves long term health, enhances self esteem, encourages self awareness and improves social interactions.  Somethings I love to do for my self care for my mind are to de-clutter a space whether  its my desk, closet, night stand, fridge or whatever it is. I just try to find a space that could use some tidying up and I de-clutter it which can equal out to de-stressing you mind. A clear space can mean a clear mind.I try to do something creative. I will try out diy project, paint a picture, draw, color blog, or plan out a spread in my planner and decorate it. I just try to do something to get the creative juices flowing. I read a new book, I try to pick something from my favorite genre or grab a self help book to inspire my mood. I listen to my favorite songs, I make a playlist sit back and enjoy the music that makes me feel good. I go for a long relaxing drive grab some snacks turn up the radio and just go for a destination-less cruise it helps to clear the mind. Go somewhere new you’ve been wanting to go. Whether its a coffee shop, a park, an art gallery or store make the time to visit the new place you’ve been curious about.

Some things I love to do for my self-care for my body are to run or walk for 30 minutes, exercise or go to the gym. Loosen up your body and get moving. Dance like a kid again blast some music and just let loose. Cuddle up with a soft blanket its therapeutic and makes you feel good.Take a warm bath grab a bath bomb, some candles and a good book. Have a relaxing time me time in the tub. Nap when needed life gets busy and we often make excuses as to why we can’t allow our body to rest. When your body is asking to sleep do it. Even if it is just for 15 minutes. Somethings I do for self care for my soul are to watch a sunset or sunrise its amazing to watch something that nature can create something so breathtaking. Make a list of 5-10 positive affirmations about yourself. What are the things you love most about yourself. Cry if you need to trust me you’ll feel better. Hug someone what’s better than a warm giant hug? Practice a favorite hobby, we often fail to make time for the things we love to do. Schedule time every week to partake in whatever you love to do. These are all just a few examples of some self care activities I love to do to keep me sane. Find what works for you and schedule that much needed self care time you need and deserve. Self-care is essential for your mental health and well-being, and listening to what your body needs doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you strong. How can you love others if you don’t love yourself first? Self-love is a beautiful thing and it’s contagious. However, I’ll be the first to admit that learning to love yourself isn’t always an easy thing. Some days getting out of bed is a chore. Some days we let our crippling anxiety and depression get the best of us. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances arise that makes us feel mentally drained. But it’s in these moments, when hard times shake us to our core and we feel defeated, that restoring your mind, body and soul is most important.

If you can, try to make “me time” a regular habit. Whether it’s turning your phone off for a few hours or giving yourself a nice bubble bath, we all need some extra self-love once in a while. How do you practice self-care? How often do you take breaks for yourself? Self care and self love is important for your over all mind, body and soul. It is an important step on my health/ fitness journey. So many people forget to put themselves first in life, and we give so much of ourselves to others in life If you neglect yourself, this is a recipe for disaster. There are many reasons why self care actually helps you become more efficient and make progress faster. Due to the nature of our busy lives, taking a break to look after yourself might sometimes feel like a luxury. We often believe that pushing ourselves to the point of exhaustion will lead to a bigger reward. Without self care, it will be hard for you to function at your best. To prevent burnout and keep stress from taking over, you need to take the time to look after yourself. Besides, taking breaks to look after yourself will help you refocus especially when solving complicated problems. Self care is just a few basic habits that are crucial for us to get the best out of our Everyday Power. For instance, you should always take time to exercise and look after your body, no matter how busy you might be. Another way to look after yourself is to practice good emotional hygiene by learning to control your feelings. Additionally, you should always protect your schedule and spend your time and money on what matters. No matter what stage you are in life, taking care of yourself should be a priority. 

Find what works best to help take care of yourself and remember self care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you. Self care is not selfish, self care is a priority and necessity not a luxury. Do what makes you happy, do what you love, practice self love to help you find your inner zen and peace. Love and take care of yourself so you can be the best version of yourself so you can give the best of yourself to others.

Retro Rebel Girl

I’m learning a lot on this new adventure of self-care and health. Positive thinking I believe plays apart on feeling good and better about yourself. Is your glass half empty or half full? The answer to this question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, attitude toward yourself, and whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic and it may even affect your health. Personality traits such as optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well being. Positive thinking that usually comes comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management.Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen not the worst. It starts with self talk it’s an endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be negative or positive. Some of it comes from logic and reason other may come from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

Start out by identifying the negative thinking then focus on positive thinking instead. You can turn negative thinking into positive thinking, the process is simple. It does take time and practice, you are creating a new habit after all. Some ways to think and behave in a more positive way is to identify areas to change, check yourself, be open to humor, follow a healthy lifestyle, surround yourself with positive people and practice positive self talk. Only use positive words when talking. If your constantly using I can’t you may convince yourself that’s the truth. Replace the negative words with positive ones instead. tell yourself you will do your best or that you will try your hardest instead.  Push out all feelings that aren’t positive. Don’t let the negative thoughts and feelings overwhelm you when you’re feeling down. Even if its only for a few hours a day. Push negativity aside and only focus on the good things in your life. Use words that evoke strength and success. Try filling your thoughts with words that make you feel strong, happy and in control of your life. Practice positive affirmations, it means to repeat a positive phrase to yourself on a regular basis. Believing that these things are true and reminding yourself of it can help give you a more positive outlook on life.

A few positive affirmations I love are:

My body is my temple. I will keep my temple clean.

I believe in my skills and abilities.

Everything will workout for me.

My strength is greater than any struggle.

I’m Fearless.

I’m getting stronger every day.

I’m in awe of what my body is capable of.

I was not made to give up.

I’ve discovered that I am fierce.

I do not fear the fire…I am the fire.

I have the power to change my story.

It’s not their job to like me… it’s mine.

I use my failures as a stepping stone.

I choose one for the day and write it down in my planner to remind me to be positive and then I repeat it to myself throughout the day to try and have a more positive outlook on life. I find a lot of positive affirmations on pinterest and google some as well to help add more positive self talk to my vocabulary and to help me try to eliminate all the negative self talk. My positive affirmation for the day is ” I AM ENOUGH.” I am really trying to be a healthier, happier me. I want to be the best me I can be for my two daughters and to show them I am a strong and confident and be a positive role model for them. I also want to be healthier and lose some weight so I can be able to run, jump and play with them for as long as I can. Here’s to being more positive, happier and healthier. This is my journey/adventure in fixing my mind, body and soul thank you for coming along with me. That’s all for today

I AM ENOUGH I AM ENOUGH

Retro Rebel Girl

 

Hey all sometimes when the anxiety is starting to set in or its a bad day I need to give myself a little pep talk. I try to wake up every morning and tell myself you’re a bad-ass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and then don’t let anyone fuck with you. You are a ball of fire. You are a flaming, feisty, bold ball of fire. You may feel like you get extinguished a lot, but you are set ablaze more times than you are drowned. You are smart,You are unique, you are interesting, you are creative, you are capable and you are important. You can kick ass when you set your mind to it. There is no obstacle you can’t overcome. Don’t stop believing in your ass kicking skills, ever! You are amazing. You are an incredible human being capable of true greatness. Wake up each day and believe in that greatness. Know that you are the best person to make decisions about your life, your body, and your happiness. Embrace your emotions, but don’t let them control you.Document your life. This amazing woman sitting here in front of me has so many incredible stories to tell and sharing those stories make the world a better place for us babes. Find a way to tell your stories, through art, words, crafts, selfies, whatever speaks to your soul. You are amazing. Good news: no one knows what they are doing. Better news: you get to make mistakes. Best news: you get to keep trying again until you find the right fit. So focus on one thing and one day at a time. Keep your head down, work hard, fail quickly, move on. Go!  Sometimes you just have to give yourself pep talks. Like “Hello. Your’re bad ass woman, don’t be sad you got this and I love you.” You are better then unicorns and sparkles combined. Stop doubting, keep going, believe in yourself. You got this. You’ve been through a lot. I know its hard but i’m so proud of who you are. You are strong, brave, bright and smart and you were given the gift of a beautiful heart. So keep going strong and try not to stray everything you are praying for is on its way. Note to self: I don’t have to take this day all at once, but rather, one step, one breath, one moment at a time. I am only one person. Things will get done when they get done. Only say words that you want to happen to yourself. You speak things into being. Feelings are just visitors let them come and go. Do sharks complain about Monday? NO They’re up early, biting stuff, chasing shit, being scary. reminding everyone they’re a fucking shark. Be a shark. In case you forgot to remind yourself this morning your butt is perfect. Your smile lights up the room. Your mind is insanely cool. You are way more than enough and you are doing an amazing job at life. And if I could tell you one thing, it would be this you are never as broken as you think you are. Sure you have a few scares and some painful memories. But then again all heroes do. Life is for deep kisses,strange adventures, midnight swims, and rambling conversations. Live your life to the fullest tell your loved ones you love them. Try not to worry or stress over the little things you can’t control. JUST BREATH!!!!

Love me,

Retro Rebel Girl

 

 

Day 1 redo a fresh start. I haven’t been making myself a priority and I quit my health journey for a little while because of a multitude of excuses, I just wasn’t stronger than my strongest excuse, my grandma also passed away and I had a very hard time with it and I also had to have my tonsils removed i had to have a tonsillectomy  and then I got pregnant with my second child and I just wasn’t my top priority any more. Enter in self doubt, anxiety, stress, and lots of worrying about things I can’t control and things I can control but have no time for, I take that back I don’t make time for. Well little Miss Bailey Rey came into this world with a bang and fashionably late by one day.  She was also born two days before the one year anniversary of my grandmas passing. At 1 something in the morning you woke me up with bad contractions by 6 something my water broke and lost my plug and bad contractions. I thought you were gonna come out in the car on the way to Kaiser lol. We made it there though i was 6cm when they tried to check me in they rushed me to a room and i wanted an epidural but within 10 to 15 mins i went straight to 10cm and wasn’t able to get one. I tried pushing you out but every time your heart rate was dropping and they tried to turn me on my left side. First to see if that would help you out no dice so they did the right side and still in distress and dropping she asked if i wanted to try vacuum or straight emergency c section i opted to get you out asap. They took me out put me under because i had no spinal tap and by 9:14 am you were here to complete our party of four. The main reason we needed to emergency evacuate you was you were stuck side ways. Brianna and you both getting stuck. But I love you and your sister so very much and would do it all over again to have both of you. I thought that was the end of my hospital journey, boy was I wrong a few days after I was home I ended up almost blacking out and in tons of pain went back to the hospital ended up staying 3 more days with an infection and I thought I was ok after I was released and all in the span of two weeks I ended up in the ER 3 more times with really bad anxiety/panic attacks. There is a lot more to all this but this is all I feel like sharing about what lead me to my new mind, body and soul adventure.

So with all of that I must start with scheduling some me time/self care time. To help my self become better mentally, emotionally and physically. Self care is not selfish, self care is necessary to keep your body and your soul alive and well. Self care is more than taking care of your body, it’s taking care of your mind, your emotions and every part of yourself. Taking time to nurture yourself is critical for your well-being, and it’s hard to take care of others close to you if you do not first care for yourself. Taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you have the inner-strength to give your body what it needs to feel nourished, loved and cared for. I have been researching ways to do some self care and I saw something on pintrest that said starting to write in a journal can help with anxiety so I have decided that I am restarting my blog also so I can start my own journal. So its time for me to take care of myself as well as my little family, I also started planning in my happy planner again to help with my ocd and anxiety routine also helps with me feeling more in control of myself. I have five planners one for my soul, one for my mind wellness, my exercise/health, our budget and lastly my blog. I know that sounds a little excessive and I know your thinking won’t that give you more anxiety trying to keep track of it all? Well I did a little Frankenstein planning i my planner and stuck all five into one and only put 3 months in each section to keep track of. The beauty of the happy planner is the pages are removable and interchangeable so I can remove old months and put new months in. Planning in my planner is one way I can have me time I love to craft, art and planning and I can do all of that in one in my planner. 

That’s all I got for today until next time,

Retro Rebel Girl

  

 

 

  

 

Today is Tuesday February 6th, it is day 27 of my crazy fitness adventure and the struggle is real today. Like I said yesterday, last nights gym experience was not a good one for me. It was extremely packed at the gym and I got anxiety with to many people there and had to leave after only being there for 20 minutes. That brings us to this morning I woke up with intentions to go to the gym for a morning workout and then it didn’t happen I made up tons of excuses as to why I shouldn’t go to the gym to workout. My anxiety had set in hard. Then the hubby gave me a pep talk and I also gave myself a pep talk. I talked myself into going and I ended up working out for 1 & 1/2 hours. I am so glad I went and so proud I pushed through and went and killed my workout. I worked on legs today. I ran on the treadmill for 15 minutes, then the life cycle bike for 13 minutes. Then off to the hip abduction machine at 90 lbs for 10 sets x 10 reps. Then to the hip adduction machine for 90 lbs 10 sets x 10 reps. Then off to seated leg curls at 70 lbs 5 sets x 10 reps. Then I did some leg extensions at 40 lbs 5 sets x 8 reps. Lastly I ended it with 5 mins on the stair master and my thighs and calves were burning. I was going to do a little bit more but it was quitting time. I was proud I made it through an hour and a half.

Don’t stop until you’re insanely fucking proud of yourself. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are working hard and training hard to accomplish.. Don’t stop doing it until you are REALLY proud of yourself and what you’ve accomplished. Your hard work in the gym will pay off. Don’t stop. Just keep going. If you ever doubt yourself or feel that things are tough.. Remember one thing: Your hard work in the gym WILL pay off. No doubt about that. So don’t stop. Just keep going until you get to where you want to be! I don’t stop until my muscles burn. You just don’t stop training when it gets tough. You keep on going until your muscles are on fire and burning up! Go in the gym and go hardcore on those weights! Be your own hero. Work hard, train insane and make yourself proud. In the end, it comes down to this. We all have to work incredibly hard and train even harder and do things we thought was impossible in order to be proud of ourselves. Get busy right now – push yourself to the limit – and be your own hero. Get in the gym, push yourself to the limit and make yourself proud. It’s so important to make yourself proud. In life and in the gym. To train hard, to push yourself to the limit and to really be proud of all the time and energy you put into your workouts. So get in the gym, give it all you’ve got until you are proud of yourself! I am my own cheerleader, motivator, hero, and inspiration. I do it because making myself proud is one of the best feelings in the world. I train hard and I go through all the hard work and pain because I  know how good I´ll feel when I accomplish my dreams. I know that being proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished is one of the best feelings ever. I am a beautifully broken bad ass rebuilding myself one day at a time. I am becoming a healthier and better me. Today’s reason to workout was the proud feeling I get after finishing a hard workout without giving up. Shout out to all the girls working on loving their bodies because that shit’s hard and i’m proud of you. Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be prod of yourself. Be proud of each step you take toward reaching your goal. I am so very proud of myself for getting through the past two days and working on myself inside and out. Here are some progress selfies:

This next one is the face of someone who killed their workout lol

Be proud of yourself, be proud of your flaws, be proud of what makes you YOU. Be proud of all your hard work, it will pay off.

-Retro Rebel Girl

Saturday was day 24 not much really to report except it was 3 days since I had been to the gym : ( It was a long few days at work and I have been exhausted and no time to go to the gym. On to day 25 I was back at it on Super Bowl Sunday, I went in the morning for about an 1 hour and a half. I thought I would change things up and do my cardio last. I started off on the hip abduction machine at 85 lbs I did 10 sets x 10 reps. I moved on to the hip adduction machine at 85 lbs I did 10 sets x 10 reps. Then I moved on to the dual pulley lat pulldown at 35 lbs I did 5 sets x 8 reps. Then I moved on to the dual pulley row at 27.5 lbs 3 sets x 8 reps. The I tried tricep pulldown at 40 lbs 3 sets x 6 reps. Boy did that burn. Then I went on to tricep press at 55lbs 5 sets x 6 reps. Then off to a chest press at 30 lbs 5 sets x 5 reps. Then I moved onto the seated leg press at 70 lbs I did a standard stance at 5 sets x 10 reps. I also did some standard calf raises on the seated leg press machine same weight and same sets and reps. Then it was off to the treadmill for 11 minutes and 10 mins on the life cycle bike. I would say that was a good workout. Here are some gym progress selfies.

Day 26: Well that brings us to today Monday ugh Monday well yesterday was also sort of “cheat day” I didn’t eat as healthy as I have been well because we were at a family party and well you have to let yourself have some stuff once in awhile. Well with that said I woke up soar as hell and I still wanted to got to the gym today so I packed my gym bag went to work and then 5:45 pm rolled around and my shift was done and I was done with my day and people. I was talking myself out of going to the gym and then a coworker gave me a pep talk and talked me into it. So I went boy oh boy I got there and it was hella busy. It was like everybody and their mama decided that Superbowl Sunday was cheat day and I need to work that crap off. I actually got a treadmill and I was on it for 18 mins then I got off I as going to go to the lifecycle bike and they were all taken so I tried to go to a few different weight machines I use and all the ones I wanted were taken and then my anxiety set in. I try to tell myself:

But it didn’t work if I am alone in a place where there is no one I know in sight and it is really really crowded I start to get claustrophobic and a feeling of I need space a lot of space. Usually when I get on a treadmill I pick one that doesn’t have someone on either side of me so that way I feel like I have room near my bubble. I have space. Today that was not the case I was running with another person on either side of me and it was driving me crazy. I felt uncomfortable and all I kept thing was what I was gonna be able to do next and I couldn’t shut off the world like I usually do to go to my happy place and kill my workout. I kept thinking everyone is starring at the fat girl trying to run on the treadmill, there is to many people, I have no space, this gym looks really small right now. So instead of getting a good workout I left because I couldn’t handle it. I felt the walls were closing in on me. For once I just want to be normal ahhh.

 

Well I took some progress selfies

My shirt was ironic today Goonies never say die, I usually don’t either but today was my first break down I am sure of many to come. But I just couldn’t do it today, well I guess there is a bright side to it I ran on the treadmill for a tiny workout at least it was something. Tomorrow is another day and I have the day off so gym here I come.

   

 

I need to learn to breath and not stress and sweat the small stuff. That is all I have for right now. Some days will be freaking awesome and great and others days might be bad, I might be anxious, I might feel doubt. I need to learn to suck it up and push through. I am a work in progress and I will become better, I become great. I will beat her, I will train harder, I will eat cleaner, I know her weaknesses. I know her strengths. I’ve lost to her before , but not this time. She is going down I have the advantage because I know her well. She is the old me. I will get through this. I am bad ass, I got this, I can do it.

-Retro Rebel Girl