Saturday was day 24 not much really to report except it was 3 days since I had been to the gym : ( It was a long few days at work and I have been exhausted and no time to go to the gym. On to day 25 I was back at it on Super Bowl Sunday, I went in the morning for about an 1 hour and a half. I thought I would change things up and do my cardio last. I started off on the hip abduction machine at 85 lbs I did 10 sets x 10 reps. I moved on to the hip adduction machine at 85 lbs I did 10 sets x 10 reps. Then I moved on to the dual pulley lat pulldown at 35 lbs I did 5 sets x 8 reps. Then I moved on to the dual pulley row at 27.5 lbs 3 sets x 8 reps. The I tried tricep pulldown at 40 lbs 3 sets x 6 reps. Boy did that burn. Then I went on to tricep press at 55lbs 5 sets x 6 reps. Then off to a chest press at 30 lbs 5 sets x 5 reps. Then I moved onto the seated leg press at 70 lbs I did a standard stance at 5 sets x 10 reps. I also did some standard calf raises on the seated leg press machine same weight and same sets and reps. Then it was off to the treadmill for 11 minutes and 10 mins on the life cycle bike. I would say that was a good workout. Here are some gym progress selfies.

Day 26: Well that brings us to today Monday ugh Monday well yesterday was also sort of “cheat day” I didn’t eat as healthy as I have been well because we were at a family party and well you have to let yourself have some stuff once in awhile. Well with that said I woke up soar as hell and I still wanted to got to the gym today so I packed my gym bag went to work and then 5:45 pm rolled around and my shift was done and I was done with my day and people. I was talking myself out of going to the gym and then a coworker gave me a pep talk and talked me into it. So I went boy oh boy I got there and it was hella busy. It was like everybody and their mama decided that Superbowl Sunday was cheat day and I need to work that crap off. I actually got a treadmill and I was on it for 18 mins then I got off I as going to go to the lifecycle bike and they were all taken so I tried to go to a few different weight machines I use and all the ones I wanted were taken and then my anxiety set in. I try to tell myself:

But it didn’t work if I am alone in a place where there is no one I know in sight and it is really really crowded I start to get claustrophobic and a feeling of I need space a lot of space. Usually when I get on a treadmill I pick one that doesn’t have someone on either side of me so that way I feel like I have room near my bubble. I have space. Today that was not the case I was running with another person on either side of me and it was driving me crazy. I felt uncomfortable and all I kept thing was what I was gonna be able to do next and I couldn’t shut off the world like I usually do to go to my happy place and kill my workout. I kept thinking everyone is starring at the fat girl trying to run on the treadmill, there is to many people, I have no space, this gym looks really small right now. So instead of getting a good workout I left because I couldn’t handle it. I felt the walls were closing in on me. For once I just want to be normal ahhh.

 

Well I took some progress selfies

My shirt was ironic today Goonies never say die, I usually don’t either but today was my first break down I am sure of many to come. But I just couldn’t do it today, well I guess there is a bright side to it I ran on the treadmill for a tiny workout at least it was something. Tomorrow is another day and I have the day off so gym here I come.

   

 

I need to learn to breath and not stress and sweat the small stuff. That is all I have for right now. Some days will be freaking awesome and great and others days might be bad, I might be anxious, I might feel doubt. I need to learn to suck it up and push through. I am a work in progress and I will become better, I become great. I will beat her, I will train harder, I will eat cleaner, I know her weaknesses. I know her strengths. I’ve lost to her before , but not this time. She is going down I have the advantage because I know her well. She is the old me. I will get through this. I am bad ass, I got this, I can do it.

-Retro Rebel Girl